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Thread: I don't get it - maybe I'm just too old.

  1. #1
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    I don't get it - maybe I'm just too old.

    Maybe I'm just too old, or too 'English'. Maybe I was starved of affection when I was little. Maybe this, maybe that. But the thing I don't get is what happened to the polite handshake? You know the one - stand 2 feet apart and arms angled downward - hands at waist level, thumbs uppermost. A firm shake, more than 2 seconds but less than 3. Engage, then disengage cleanly.

    Now I have to endure almost everyone twisting my wrist like they're trying to make a balloon animal. Or an assortment of strange and unfamiliar motions previously reserved for Freemasons. Plus odd thumb interactions. Then there follows a series of pats/embraces/hugs. This is not for me. Neither do I want to exchange kisses with either sex. Especially those stupid air kisses with the accompanying 'Mwa' noise.

    Just leave me out of all this. I am a miserable bastard. It is so, and can never be otherwise.
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  2. #2
    ToneOholic! big_teee's Avatar
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    With all the flu, and who knows what, going around?
    Most around here, opt for the closed fist bump, and a "Hi How Are You", is preferred!
    I don't go for the hugs and kisses either!
    T
    g1 likes this.
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  3. #3
    Stray Cap DrGonz78's Avatar
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    Your post reminded me of the hand shake scene in School of Rock.

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  4. #4
    Better Tone thru Mathematics bob p's Avatar
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    I'm not into the gratuitous hugging either, but then I admit that I find fist-bumping to be just as affected.

    I went out for lunch Monday with my brother in law. We bumped into one of his high school buddies who graduated in 1969. He's still doing construction. He had one of those old-fashioned FIRM grips that you only find in people who do real work with their hands. It was a REAL handshake, not one of those limp ones that just seem so wrong.
    "Stand back, I'm holding a calculator." - chinrest

    "I happen to have an original 1955 Stratocaster! The neck and body have been replaced with top quality Warmoth parts, I upgraded the hardware and put in custom, hand wound pickups. It's fabulous. There's nothing like that vintage tone or owning an original." - Chuck H

  5. #5
    Lifetime Member Enzo's Avatar
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    A handshake should be firm and strong, but not to the point it becomes competitive. And I agree, three seconds is about enough, we aren't here to dance.

    All that elaborate stuff is dap, and I don't participate. it is like street slang in middle school. You have to be up on what is current. Or you have practiced a routine with your friends, like you see at pro basketball or football games. I don't pretend to be up to date on the street. There is a sort of original, classic if you will, dap, but like anything, it evolves.
    Education is what you're left with after you have forgotten what you have learned.

  6. #6
    Senior Member nevetslab's Avatar
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    Drives me crazy when sticking my hand out for a proper hand shake, and instead have someone wrap their hand around my four fingers instead of the correct mating hand to a proper hand shake.
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  7. #7
    Supporting Member Chuck H's Avatar
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    My circle of friends had a custom handshake. It was a little odd and each gesture represented an occurrence we were all familiar with. In that context ONLY is such a thing acceptable. I wouldn't affect that handshake on anyone outside of the circle and I would take offence to anyone expecting me to play along with their handshake which I can't know and has no meaning to me. In that light it is obviously rude and demonstrates a lack of social skills or awareness. So, everyone, the next time someone tries to play Patty Cake on your handshake feel free to pull back short and give them a cross look. Don't feel weird or out of it because you didn't know the stupid handshake plan, that is different for many and wasn't communicated. YOU are not the one being socially inappropriate and you're not a mind reader. In fact, just kick them right in balls.
    dmartn149, g1, nevetslab and 1 others like this.
    "I'm just going to perform a bit more scientific investigation, turn it up to 11 and rip of the knob." überfuzz

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  8. #8
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    ^^^^^^^ lol

  9. #9
    Lifetime Member Enzo's Avatar
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    Or just say, "How about a proper handshake, mate?"
    Education is what you're left with after you have forgotten what you have learned.

  10. #10
    Supporting Member Chuck H's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nevetslab View Post
    Drives me crazy when sticking my hand out for a proper hand shake, and instead have someone wrap their hand around my four fingers instead of the correct mating hand to a proper hand shake.
    There should be a fine for that.
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    "I'm just going to perform a bit more scientific investigation, turn it up to 11 and rip of the knob." überfuzz

    "...less ear-friendly but handy for jazz." Leo_Gnardo

    "Shut up, you big dumb poopy-head!" Justin Thomas

  11. #11
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    What's worse is when you go for a handshake and they try to fist-bump your open fingers. Ah, hell no! I'm a guitar player. You ain't gonna jam my fingers with your fist!

    Then there's the ones who shake your hand then pull you close to turn it into a one-armed hug. There are a few friends I'll do that for, but most who try, we aren't THAT close. You wanna shake hands? Do it right. You wanna hug? I'm okay with that, but do it right, too!

    Justin
    Chuck H likes this.
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  12. #12
    Supporting Member Chuck H's Avatar
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    I have a friend who starts with the handshake, then gives a little pull on it and say's "Get in here" for the one arm hug. This is only after long absences and exclusive to closer friends. The way it's presented you can't really say no, but it works. Short absence, no hug. So it feels like he's genuinely glad to see you. I dunno. There's definitely some gray area or it wouldn't be up for discussion. Some people get it right and know where to change it up.
    "I'm just going to perform a bit more scientific investigation, turn it up to 11 and rip of the knob." überfuzz

    "...less ear-friendly but handy for jazz." Leo_Gnardo

    "Shut up, you big dumb poopy-head!" Justin Thomas

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by nevetslab View Post
    Drives me crazy when sticking my hand out for a proper hand shake, and instead have someone wrap their hand around my four fingers instead of the correct mating hand to a proper hand shake.
    You know those game shows where a blindfolded contestant sticks their hand in a box containing something unpleasant? That's what the four-finger wraparound feels like to me.

    Hang on, does a four-finger wraparound mean something else?
    Justin Thomas and The Dude like this.

  14. #14
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    I have to suffer the full works when I go to see my sister and her posh friends in the south of France. They have all adopted French ways, yuk! I can't back up fast enough to avoid the kisses.
    Chuck H likes this.

  15. #15
    Better Tone thru Mathematics bob p's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave H View Post
    I have to suffer the full works when I go to see my sister and her posh friends in the south of France. They have all adopted French ways, yuk! I can't back up fast enough to avoid the kisses.
    you could try wearing some of this:

    Mick Bailey likes this.
    "Stand back, I'm holding a calculator." - chinrest

    "I happen to have an original 1955 Stratocaster! The neck and body have been replaced with top quality Warmoth parts, I upgraded the hardware and put in custom, hand wound pickups. It's fabulous. There's nothing like that vintage tone or owning an original." - Chuck H

  16. #16
    Old Timer J M Fahey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave H View Post
    I have to suffer the full works when I go to see my sister and her posh friends in the south of France. They have all adopted French ways, yuk! I can't back up fast enough to avoid the kisses.
    Chinese Grannies feel exactly the same when visiting family in USA or most other places (they are safe in Japan though), what´s all this *touching* (yuk!!) each other , even fist to fist, instead of politely bowing from 3 feet away?
    bob p and frus like this.
    Juan Manuel Fahey

  17. #17
    Supporting Member Chuck H's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by J M Fahey View Post
    Chinese Grannies feel exactly the same when visiting family in USA or most other places (they are safe in Japan though), what´s all this *touching* (yuk!!) each other , even fist to fist, instead of politely bowing from 3 feet away?
    Yeah, right. Then you go to the market and their shoving you aside with their body, no eye contact, trying to get to the merchandise you're looking at or coughing on your neck in line without covering their mouths. Different cultures indeed.
    J M Fahey and g1 like this.
    "I'm just going to perform a bit more scientific investigation, turn it up to 11 and rip of the knob." überfuzz

    "...less ear-friendly but handy for jazz." Leo_Gnardo

    "Shut up, you big dumb poopy-head!" Justin Thomas

  18. #18
    Better Tone thru Mathematics bob p's Avatar
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    Just kick 'em in the balls. oh, wait ...
    Chuck H likes this.
    "Stand back, I'm holding a calculator." - chinrest

    "I happen to have an original 1955 Stratocaster! The neck and body have been replaced with top quality Warmoth parts, I upgraded the hardware and put in custom, hand wound pickups. It's fabulous. There's nothing like that vintage tone or owning an original." - Chuck H

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