More cranky tech stories

[Enzo]

Can you look at my 24 channel Behringer mixer?
Yes, I am an authorized repair center.
I need it tomorrow, can I bring it in?
we open at 6:30PM
Oh... How late will you be there?
All night.
Oh... will you still be there at 7PM?
We only opened at 6:30, yes, we'll still be there at 7.
Will you be able to fix it then?
I'll have to see, I have no idea what it might need until I look at it.
I can bring it in tonight?
Yes, after 6:30 when we open.

(8PM)
Here is my mixer.
OK. (a moment of activity: power it up, feed a signal, check output, L Main no sound)
Yes, dead side on the output.
Can you fix it?
WOn't know until I open it up. Could be a bad little IC, like this one (point to example) or maybe the master fader is bad. I probably have whatever it needs, but won;t know for sure until I am inside.
But the fader works the other channel, doesn;t that mean it is OK?
(Explain concept of "stereo" fader)
So I can pick this up about noon tomorrow?
No, we open at 6:30PM.
Will it be done then?
We'll try?
I need it. When can I come back for it?
After 6:30PM when we open.
Will you call me before you go home?

No, I'll be dead from self-inflicted gunshots.

[Jazz P Bass]

Enzo
Is it done yet?

[Enzo]

Matter of fact it is. I had an appropriate fader in the drawer to replace his bad one.

[g1]

So he'll see you in a few weeks to pick it up then?

[tedmich]

(on seeing said fader) you want how much? That things tiny!

[Enzo]

$90 for one little part to change?
Y'see all those screws around the edge of the thing? And you see all those knobs from here to there that have to come off? You see those board mounting screws? You see the cables I have to unglue and remove? Don't matter how many parts I have to change when I get there, I still need an hour to get it all apart and back together.
Yeah, but it is just one part.

I called him at 10 this morning. Told him tonight was Friday and I had to go somewhere at 8PM for a couple hours. It is now 20 after 7PM. I wonder if I will see him?

[Techknowman]

I like the guys that want me to make there amps have more watts and /or trying to explain watts at 4 ohms versus 8 ohms.
"So if I hook it up to a 4ohm speaker, it has more watts and its louder?"

[Ronsonic]

Today, had one of the classics. A piece that went out ten months ago comes back, customer says he just used it for the first time and it's still broke. Look at the old ticket, he was calling daily saying he needed it for all the shows he had coming up. Y'know, with recent work history I'm very inclined to look real hard at the unit to see if there wasn't something that could've been better and be real forgiving on the billing as an accomodation, but ... not after that BS.

[bkahuna]

So he'll see you in a few weeks to pick it up then?

You got me...coffee just shot out my nose on that one!

[jrfrond]

$90. Damn, that's CHEAP!!!

Oh yeah, the ol' "I picked it up six months ago, went on on vacation and used it once when I came back and it still doesn't work. Can you fix it under your warranty?

When the customer is told "no" because our warranty is 60 days, and asks why not, we simply say "Because we don't believe you". It's as simple as that. Sometimes they own up to it, sometimes they bitch and whine, others threaten to "tell all their friends" how they got ripped-off.

We simply do not care about the stories and whining anymore, and we've sent a few packing to other places. Nor can they make us feel guilty about how much it costs to "replace that little part", or "it's just a loose wire, or a short" (well, which one IS it A-hole, they're two different problems!). I've already told a few customers "If it's such an easy fix, then why don't you do it?". Bad attitude? No, just standing our ground. It IS New York City, after all.

[Enzo]

Now, is it true, in New York, "standing your ground" is just the local term for urinating on the sidewalk?


They did come back and get it. I had told them I was leaving at 8PM< and I did. When i returned, quarter after 10, there they were in the parking lot.

[Sweetfinger]

Here's my latest bit of fun. I get this email:
"...could you add more watts to my Fender Super champ XD its 15 now and I would like 25 to 28 watts total then I would like to modify and add a 12 “ Celestion Vintage 30 watt speaker can you do this also ?"

I tell them that it's gonna cost a fair bit of money.

" I have changed my mind on the super champ – and now would like to know how much it would cost to add a wattage switch to my Fender deluxe – like the Egnater Renagade has on it ! or just take it from 40 to 20 watts whatever is less cost"

After a couple emails specifically ASKING which "Deluxe", I figure out that it is a Hot Rod Deluxe and decide that rather than go through the futile attempt at educating my customer on wattage vs. apparent loudness, (I asked the reasons for wanting the amp modded and the answer was, "I want it to be 20 watts", plus the fact that his amp has a master volume... I'll just give 'em what he wants. I really don't want to mod this thing 'cause the HR series is oh-so moddable, so I suggest that the cheapest and best route will be Yellow Jacket sockets. Then I get this:

"Would my creamy rich tones change much ?"

I got a live one!

I tell him that if anything, his tones will be even richer and more creamy. He's gonna bring the amp in soon.

[g1]

JC, any tips on how I can get my tones a bit more peaty and smokier?

[Enzo]

Dip your strings in Laphroaig.

[Enzo]

I am sorry, I should have said that in Canadian.

Dip your strings in Laphroaig, eh?