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Thread: How about a thread devoted to humor?

  1. #281
    Old Timer Leo_Gnardo's Avatar
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    After last week's non stop Senate hearing drama, some wag did a clever edit. It will take only a minute, promise. Warning, do not have coffee or anything else placed where it might go flying out your nose.


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    NON ILLEGITIMI CARBORVNDVM

  2. #282
    Bent Member Chuck H's Avatar
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    Ouch!

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    "...less ear-friendly but handy for jazz." Leo_Gnardo

    "A pedal, any kind, will not make a Guitar player more dangerous than he already is." J M Fahey

    "Now get off my lawn with your silicooties and boom-chucka speakers and computers masquerading as amplifiers" Justin Thomas

    "A shot gun delivers a force that exceeds the operational range of most systems, such as pumpkins." Antigua

  3. #283
    4 names g1's Avatar
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    Click image for larger version. 

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Dude View Post
    But, I did learn something. There are protons, neutrons, electrons, ............ and morons.

  4. #284
    Bent Member Chuck H's Avatar
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    LOL!!!

    They might drown looking up at the rain (to see what's hitting them on the head?) but maybe not as dumb as we thought.

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    "...less ear-friendly but handy for jazz." Leo_Gnardo

    "A pedal, any kind, will not make a Guitar player more dangerous than he already is." J M Fahey

    "Now get off my lawn with your silicooties and boom-chucka speakers and computers masquerading as amplifiers" Justin Thomas

    "A shot gun delivers a force that exceeds the operational range of most systems, such as pumpkins." Antigua

  5. #285
    Lifetime Member Enzo's Avatar
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    Some say turkeys are too stupid to breed on their own.

    A true story actually here...

    Around here, if you are giving someone directions, you might describe a road sign. Locally if I come up to I-96, I will see two ramps: "I-96 to Detroit" and "I-96 to Grand Rapids". So If I want to go somewhere west of here, I might tell someone: Take "I-96 to Grand Rapids" and get off at the Ionia exit. Ionia is half way to GR. Normal folks understand that as take the GR entrance and drive to the Ionia exit.

    My wife worked with a woman, whom I refer to as the worlds least competent human, who got those directions to a meeting in Ionia. SHe got on the highway, drove to Grand Rapids, and THEN started looking for the Ionia exit. There are many tales of this woman. Once she called my wife asking wife to email her, because she wanted to email something to my wife. WHy don't you just enter wife's email address and...?

    The woman's daughter, who also works with my wife, is well aware of these tendencies in her mother, and in facts laughs about it with us. I will call her Mary. One day yet another stupid mom story was being told, and I said to my wife, "Geez, how did this woman even know how to breed?" To which the wife replied, "Um you know Mary is adopted, don't you?"

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    Education is what you're left with after you have forgotten what you have learned.

  6. #286
    Old Timer Tom Phillips's Avatar
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    Newegg Red Tag Sale. Oh Boy!

    Some people may understand the humor I see in this right away.
    Click image for larger version. 

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    For those that don't, let me explain that, in my career experience, red tagged items are those that have failed test, been rejected, worn out beyond repair or are otherwise no good. Therefore, to have a company offer to sell me their red tagged items for a measly 24% discount is really funny. (To me anyway)

    Cheers,
    Tom

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  7. #287
    Lifetime Member Enzo's Avatar
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    Works really good except any calculation involving the numeral 3. Otherwise 100%. Act fast!!!

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    Education is what you're left with after you have forgotten what you have learned.

  8. #288
    Supporting Member John_H's Avatar
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    An old tired-looking dog wanders into a guy's yard. He examines the dog's collar and feels his well-fed belly and knows the dog has a home.
    The dog follows him into the house, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep. The man thinks its rather odd, but lets him sleep. After about an hour the dog wakes up, walks to the door and the guy lets him out. The dog wags his tale and leaves.
    The next day the dog comes back and scratches at the door. The guy opens the door, the dog comes in, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep again. The man lets him sleep. After about an hour the dog wakes up, walks to the door and the guy lets him out. The dog wags his tale and leaves.
    This goes on for days. The guy grows really curious, so he pins a note on the dog's collar: "Your dog has been taking a nap at my house every day."
    The next day the dog arrives with another note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with four children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

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  9. #289
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    The well intentioned wife:
    A wife directs her senior husband to the baker for two loaves of French bread. When he returns she looks at him lovingly and asks, “How are you feeling darling?”? Her husband replies that he feels like he usually does. On the following day the wife asks her husband to get two more loaves of French bread. Her husband observes that they only finished half of one loaf and so looks at her puzzled. She says, “Don’t just stand there, go get it”. When he returns, she sits on his lap and says, “How are you feeling darling?”? Her husband replies, “The same as yesterday.” The next day the wife asks her husband to get four more loaves of French bread. The husband bristles at the request and says, “What’s with all the bread, don’t you know it’ll get hard?”? She impishly replies, “So is it?”?

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  10. #290
    "Thermionic Apocalypse" -JT nickb's Avatar
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    Seems we might be overdue for lawyer one...

    A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home. But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house. When he said he had 12 children no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place. He couldn't say he had no children, because he couldn't lie -- we all know lawyers cannot and do not lie. So he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.



    He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent. He loved one of the homes and the price was right -- the agent asked:

    "How many children do you have?
    He answered: "Twelve."
    The agent asked "Where are the others?"

    The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered "They're in the cemetery with their mother."
    "Welcome to your new home" was the response.

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    Experience is something you get, just after you really needed it.

  11. #291
    Old Timer Leo_Gnardo's Avatar
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    After a moment thinking the following might belong in the "cover songs" category, no it's much more at home over here. Pat Paulsen sends up "Hey Jude" as only he can. Perhaps would be considered a bit non PC these days. Oh well.... view if you dare! Just a little fun for a late Saturday night:


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