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Computer Error Messages as Haiku Poetry

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  • Computer Error Messages as Haiku Poetry

    Computer Error Messages as Haiku Poetry

    In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful computer error messages with Haiku poetry. This style of verse has strict construction rules. Each poem is three lines long; the first line has five syllables, the second has seven, and the third has five. Haiku is used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning, and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

    Your file was so big.
    It might be very useful.
    But now it is gone.

    The Web site you seek
    Cannot be located, but
    Countless more exist.

    Chaos reigns within.
    Reflect, repent, and reboot.
    Order shall return.

    Program aborting;
    Close all that you have worked on.
    You ask far too much.

    Windows has now crashed.
    I am the Blue Screen of Death.
    No one hears your screams.

    Yesterday it worked.
    Today it is not working.
    Windows is like that.

    First snow, then silence.
    This thousand-dollar screen dies
    So beautifully.

    With searching comes loss
    And the presence of absence:
    "My Novel" not found.

    The Tao that is seen
    Is not the true Tao--until
    You bring fresh toner.

    Stay the patient course.
    Of little worth is your ire.
    The network is down.

    A crash reduces
    Your expensive computer
    To a simple stone.

    Three things are certain:
    Death, taxes, and lost data.
    Guess which has occurred.

    You step in the stream,
    But the water has moved on.
    The page is not here.

    Out of memory,
    We wish to hold the whole sky,
    But we never will.

    Having been erased,
    The document you're seeking
    Must now be retyped.

    Serious error.
    All shortcuts have disappeared.
    Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

    Disclaimer: Lightweight Access brings you humorous observations and refreshing diversions to give you a break from the daily grind.
    Any opinions expressed here do not reflect Novell's official
    position on anything.


    Copyright ©2001 by Novell, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, for any purpose without the express written permission of Novell.
    All product names mentioned are trademarks of their respective companies or distributors.
    The Blue Guitar
    www.blueguitar.org
    Some recordings:
    https://soundcloud.com/sssteeve/sets...e-blue-guitar/
    .

  • #2
    I didn't want to crap up that post with any of my comments, hence this reply. I got a real kick out of that but I did have one question: why would they have error messages in English in Japan? But I guess that there are plenty of people there who use English on their computers. In any case it does turn out to be a prank, but still funny.

    From PC World:

    Windows' Japanese edition uses haiku error messages.

    We have a yen for this legend, which claims that rather than offering the cryptic error messages Windows displays for English readers, Japanese editions use calming haiku poems, such as this one (our favorite):

    Yesterday it worked.
    Today it is not working.
    Windows is like that.

    Sadly, such messages are fictional. The list of haiku messages circulating on the Internet is culled from a 1998 contest organized by Salon, an online magazine, which challenged readers to come up with error messages in haiku form. Salon received more than 200 entries from which it picked two winners:

    Three things are certain:
    Death, taxes, and lost data.
    Guess which has occurred.

    and

    Everything is gone;
    Your life's work has been destroyed.
    Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

    from:

    Windows' Japanese edition uses haiku error messages

    Steve Ahola
    The Blue Guitar
    www.blueguitar.org
    Some recordings:
    https://soundcloud.com/sssteeve/sets...e-blue-guitar/
    .

    Comment


    • #3
      I got a real kick out of that but I did have one question: why would they have error messages in English in Japan?
      there you go steve, your brain function is still ok!

      might actually be nice to have something like that. Could feel a bit more human (the humor in a less-than-ideal situation), but OTOH may provoke someone into violence on their PC, lol.

      Comment


      • #4
        Thanks for posting those, Steve.

        I particularly liked the one about the BSOD, and nobody hearing your screams. Been there, done that.
        "Stand back, I'm holding a calculator." - chinrest

        "I happen to have an original 1955 Stratocaster! The neck and body have been replaced with top quality Warmoth parts, I upgraded the hardware and put in custom, hand wound pickups. It's fabulous. There's nothing like that vintage tone or owning an original." - Chuck H

        Comment

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