Weird customer stories.....

[Zhangliqun]

So far I've been reeeeally blessed by the quality of customers I've had. Everybody's polite, 90% of them know pretty much exactly what they want, most of the rest know enough that when I answer 2 or 3 questions about covers or Alnico grades, etc., I'm able to come up with a formula that will get them what they want.

The "worst" I've had is a high school kid who at that age obviously doesn't know that much about pu's so he doesn't know what he wants. He's got some obscure vintage guitar body and one day he wants 3 Jazzmaster pu's for it, the next day it's Phat Cat clones, the next Fender Wide Range, then Strat, regular humbuckers, Tele set, etc. He was very polite and not the least bit difficult, but I told him, sure I'd love to take his money, but he needs to really take some time to go to stores week after week and play a million different guitars, play his friends' guitars, play any guitar he can get his hands on, etc., just to develop a base of knowledge about different guitars and different pickup designs -- and then get back to me. I told him this is so he doesn't blow what little bit of money he's able to scrape together on pickups he'll likely end up not liking.

He went away for a while but occasionally contacts me with some new ideas. He seems to be taking my advice but still needs more seasoning.

If that's as bad as it gets for me, life is good. Like I said, I've been super-blessed in customer quality...

[Possum]

phone customers....

There's a weird thing that happens with me and I can't quite put my finger on it yet. I really dislike taking phone calls from customers unless they are serious about ordering pickups; reason is TIME, which I don't have alot of and which they waste tons. Alot of my phone contacts just want to damn talk my ear off about how many guitars they have etc. Then maybe I am shooting myself in the foot by giving them too much information so they get confused and never order. I think alot of them are "impulse" buyers and after talking with me the impulse goes away when they realize they will have to make an intelligent decision on what pickups to order. I'm kinda glad about that, impulse buyers aren't who I want as customers really. I find the guys who email me are better customers in the long run and I put on my website that I prefer email contacts.

Anyway, just wait Zhangq you'll get a weirdie pretty soon, I get about 2 a year and they are usually doozies, though I do take steps to weed those guys out. The ones that really scare me are the "forum" guys, I once had two guys who didn't like my "customer" service and were chatting about me on the tele forum in a very negative way, which really annoyed me because I went way way out of my way to treat those guys right. Someone alerted me to the thread and I jumped in and shamed them by pointing out all the ultra super human things I did to make them happy. They shut up right away because I don't lie. But if I hadn't found that thread alot of damage could have been done; a couple other guys there were customers as well and stood up for me as well. Man, I stay off the guitar forums, except the new LP forum where they don't care if you promote your wares......

[NightWinder]

MAn,,,I wonder what kinda pot? That must have been really good wriffer to give up some guitar equipment. I mean, even I have never traded equipment for pot.....Maybe the pot is getting really goood?

[Mark Hammer]

Boy am I glad I don't run a business!

Sounds to me like some of you need to have signable waivers with your clients, that are every bit as irritable as the client themselves ("Here is a list of the things I will not do if you do not like this purchase..."). Of course, with some of these folks, it sounds like you'd need a waiver on the waiver; "I, the aforementioned, do hereby solemnly swear that I understood what I was signing, and that I understood all the terms and conditions".

All of this serves to remind us that there is no law which prevents persons with anger management or other impulse-control disorders, developmental handicaps and neurological disorders, people who couldn't follow a train of thought or generate one if their lives depended on it, or just complete boneheads, from being interested in music and having money to spend on gear. No law against them walking into a store, or clicking on the link for your website and e-mail either. Without naming names, there is a guy I've seen on a couple forums who I gather has Asperger's Syndrome or some other similar autism spectrum disorder. Pleasant enough, but my god is he draining and relentless, and like most with Asperger's, incapable of picking up a clue/hint. It,s a big old world, and it his his right to be on forums or stroll into a music store, as much as it is your right and mine.

Perhaps more unfortunately, there is no law against guitar magazines and forums popularizing descriptive terms for tone that have NO COHERENT OR PRECISE MEANING WHATSOEVER and any of the aforementioned customer types strolling in and trying to use those terms as a route to some sort of "satisfactory" client/business relationship.

[Ruel]

Just recently, I answered a thread in a local guitar forum who was looking for a used DiMarzio PAF PRO. Must have be a teenager. I sent a PM telling him that I could wind him something better for the kind of money he was willing to pay. He sent me an SMS asking if my pickup will sound like a PAF PRO. I said.." I will wind you one, you try it and if you do not like it, you do not pay for it. Just give it back. I will even do the installation for free." I also invited him to my house so he can try the pickups I have installed in my guitars to help him decide. He just kept on pestering me with a zillion questions. I got tired of the whole thing I decided not to answer his SMS to put a stop to the useless discussion. I mean Jeez, what more could the guy want? I don't know if he understood fully my offer.

[Possum]

local heroes.....

It seems that people who know you or live in your area won't give you the respect that others out in the world will. It took a real long time for the local guys to realize I know what I am doing and make good stuff. I guess they figure if they know you how could you be any good at it if they haven't heard that you're "famous." I took my strat for a guy to try out tonite and he totally blew me off, afraid to try it, a bid of "no confidence." I won't bring shit for him again thats for sure. Moral of the story is don't undersell yourself, don't give it away for free unless you're new at this stuff.

And YES you bet on the "contract" idea. I have to add more details to what I will and will not do on my website to cover my ass everytime someone comes up with some other loophole idea to waste my time. I just put up a "no refund" statement after a guy decided he wanted his money back after four months before his pickups are done. His pickups aren't done becuase his email service is so crappy none of my emails get through to him anymore, he has his spam blocker turned on and is too stupid to figure it out. He's getting pickups, no refund, I'm not responsible for his internet problems. Payment for my pickups is a contract for goods, no refunds, you get what you ordered and if you don't like it we do it over again once for free. You wait in line, you don't get it before everybody else unless you want to pay a rush fee and I don't guarantee a delivery date. I lose a shit load of orders because of my restrictions but I also don't have to deal with crybabies who have no patience or guys who ran out of dope and want a refund. Strict business guidelines are a must for me.....

[Mark Hammer]

Of course, for every story about weird customers, there are even more about weird business practices. Many people mistake the snazziness of the website with the number of people working on the other side of it, somehow thinking that because Musician's Friend has a website, and Guitar Center has a website, and you have a website, that somehow everyone with a website has a bunch of staff dedicated to answering e-mail, or shipping out or tracking orders, and that even if someone gets hit by a car or comes down with cancer that there WILL be someone there to answer calls and e-mail, 24/7. The very notion that a website might be the e-presence of one person working a day job and trying to feed a hobby by making a couple of bucks on the side just doesn't seem to register. I find many people have wholly unrealistic expectations of small boutique businesses, and part of the problem is that the websites look TOO snazzy and professional.

I wish more businesses made a point of conveying exactly how many people work there, how much time you might have to wait to get an e-mail reply, what sort of contingency plan does or does not exist (e.g., "if you don't hear from me within 6 working days, it is likely because I am sick or otherwise indisposed"), and also had a backup plan to let people know when the "business" was temporarily down for personal reasons. Personally, I don't have any horror stories since I don't really buy anything on-line (just cheap, folks, not distrustful). But I regularly have to talk people down out of a panic, or unpleasantly escalating confrontation. That situation could be improved upon considerably by much better communication on small-business websites, and forging much more realistic expectations.

Basically, communication gaps are the bane of customer-business relations, in BOTH directions. I certainly won't heap all the blame on the businesses themselves, but planning out one's "corporate image" (even if it's only a one-man business), and having a well thought-out communication plan, is a good first step to avoiding headache and heartache. Sometimes, as Dave/Possum wisely notes, that involves being a hardass and laying out unambiguously exactly what you can and cannot expect as a consumer/customer.

[NightWinder]

Damnit Possum....

FINE! More Local Hero's:
A word to the wise: Locals are the hardest to convince. I've been treating a friend get his tones that he likes.....Which turned out to be about 10 pickups. Moral....you can never please your friends. Seems this guy also tells people he had a hand in my r&d because his pickup was based off a 16k pickup I make,, and his all are at 16.2k, slight modification from the stock version that I make, with a smalleer offset. How is that "having a hand in the r&d of "Most" of the pickups I make? What a crock of shit......I mean, this is the same guy that took 1 1/2 yrs to decide that he wants a cover on one of his pickups......and now He gives it back to me, and I cover it, and he thinks Its for free??? He was surprised to get a bill.....For $10!!!! What a cheapass!!
He also had a great discount on all his pickups, and has sold 2 pickups in like 3yrs for me. I actually don't even like the guys personality at all, but considering that I have known him for 10 yrs, and we can hang out anytime and jam, i FIGURED i'd give him a opertunity to hang out and hear some new pickups at my studio. Totally shot me down, saying " I thought we were going to use my stuff to jam, I really want to hear my stuff." Just never ends
Moral of the story- Never let anyone tell you what to make. Never use anyones equipment but your own. DO accept any critisism anyone has about your tones, and evaluate yourself. Looking for outside help will burn you in the long run. Never, Ever break the friend/business line. You can give your friends discounts, but don't let them in the door to chew you up and spit you out like the flu.

[Possum]

discount...

I personally don't do discounts to friends, they save on shipping is all since they are here. they all expect me to give them the "buddy deal" but thats a big mistake because then they'll want it all the time and want more pickups :-) Another thing I stay away from which Nitewinder hints at is don't compare yourself to other pickup makers, you can fall into the trap of thinking everyone else is better than you :-) When I listen to tones to shoot for its always on old records, not off someone's sound samples on their website. Someone pointed me to a youtube video of a guy playing some Hamel PAFs, so I gritted my teeth and listened and started thinking wow those sounded pretty good. Well then I was afraid to play my own guitar with my own pickups, stayed away from it for 3 days. Then when I did I realized that to me mine sound alot better, have more character. The topper that made me feel better was Spence said yeah he saw that video and they sound like Duncans, ha. I felt better. Won't do that bullshit again....

[NightWinder]

I personally don't do discounts to friends, they save on shipping is all since they are here. they all expect me to give them the "buddy deal" but thats a big mistake because then they'll want it all the time and want more pickups :-) Another thing I stay away from which Nitewinder hints at is don't compare yourself to other pickup makers, you can fall into the trap of thinking everyone else is better than you :-) When I listen to tones to shoot for its always on old records, not off someone's sound samples on their website. Someone pointed me to a youtube video of a guy playing some Hamel PAFs, so I gritted my teeth and listened and started thinking wow those sounded pretty good. Well then I was afraid to play my own guitar with my own pickups, stayed away from it for 3 days. Then when I did I realized that to me mine sound alot better, have more character. The topper that made me feel better was Spence said yeah he saw that video and they sound like Duncans, ha. I felt better. Won't do that bullshit again....

Dude, Possum, your a smart young man!! Thats exactly what I'm trying to get at. I have a friend that has some other custom pickups. He continuously judges mine to them? Thats ok, but you should also compare to like models, not paf against 16k demons? Thats not going to cut it. WHen compared to a like model, he always chooses mine, but it is just senseless really. Comparing your work to others is a humble experience.......For awile, I was looking to just wipe the floor with the other pickups, but after awhile i started thinking what I liked about them, and how I could Improve the design. No longer was I on A quest to be the best, as I realized that no matter what I did, my product was mine. Don't fall victum to comparisoins........Its like arpeggios, they are cool, but practicing them to much will ruin You!!
Comparing yours to theirs......Its a never winning situation. You will always like yours more. Bias.

[Steve Conner]

You guys know about the compression algorithms YouTube put the audio through, right? It's the digital equivalent of the guys at the UPS depot playing football with your fragile important parcel. Roughly speaking, they smush it to pieces, throw 90% of the pieces away and then the player software crudely glues it back together.

Trying to evaluate pickups from a YouTube video strikes me as being pretty difficult, kind of like guessing what was actually in the package before UPS annihilated it. So I wouldn't worry if you heard something on YouTube that seemed to sound better than something you made.

[soundmasterg]

Dude, Possum, your a smart young man!!

Possum's smart, but he sure ain't a young man! He's so old he's falling apart. He's so old he saw Hendrix in person. He's so old he can't ever remember anything. He's so old his mom was born in the 1900's. He's so old he..............."watch while Greg gets smacked in the head on the way to the jam next week by someone resembling Possum..........."

[David Schwab]

He's so old his mom was born in the 1900's.

Geeze, I'm old as dirt then! My dad was born in 1900, and my mom was born in 1912.

Of course my dad was 57 when I was born...

[Zhangliqun]

Anyway, just wait Zhangq you'll get a weirdie pretty soon

Just a matter of time, and quite possibly a bunch of them at once to even out the current winning streak.

[kevinT]

everyone wants a discount or something for free

I get a number of inquiries about my endorsement program every week from bands and individual artists. These folks generally have aspirations to make it big....they tell me all these wonderful things like they have a new CD coming out, or they're doing a national tour with so and so. ..and because of this they want to be hooked-up with discounts and free stuff.

It cracks me up because many of them seem to expect a discount and that i must give it to them. Many of the folks are nobodys .... and after hearing their stuff, some don't have a snowballs chance in hell in making it.

But some are cool and are really good and have much potential....and i obviously get these folks on board.

Most of the time the people that i talk to just don't realize that the stuff i offer costs money and it comes out of my pocket. For some reason....they think that i get it for free or it grows on trees and that they are entitled to it. Once i tell them that they must send a media kit to be considered for the program....that ends it there for most...because many folks don't have a clue about what one is or they just don't have one put together.

My point (and what Mark Hammer touched on earlier) is you have to make it clear up front to folks what your endorsement program (or any other business policy e.g., return policy) does and doesn't do and communicate clearly the criteria for getting into the program....no ands, ifs, or butts. I'm actually in the process of revamping my endorsement program now and communicating the requirements better....but....I'll still probably get folks that don't or won't read the requirements and want their hand held....which chews up a lot of my time.

Yeah, I offer stuff for free... but those are for the bigger names who can get my name out there. Lesser known folks get a discount....but they got to get into the program first. And the good thing about it is..... I get to make the decision about who gets in...and who doesn't.