Customer calls

[Steve Conner]

I wonder if he supervises the doctor when his wife is sick?

[eschertron]

Ever notice how good AM radio sounded on cars from the 50's? I'd tune an AM station in our hi-fi in the living room and it sounded like total crap, all buzzy and thin.

Steve

Everything sounds better ... in cars!

[Paleo Pete]

These are pretty cool stories. I've seen a lot of the same working as a computer repair tech for over 10 years.

I need it quick...like yesterday...

3 weeks later I'm still calling trying to get him to pick up his computer...

Oh no problem, I'm not going to need it soon...

Sure enough the next morning guess who the first phone call is at 7AM...

The one that irritated me most was a preacher. Brought his computer in dressed in about $300 worth of clothes and shoes, watch that cost more than I had made in the past month, new Lexus in the driveway. Filled out the trouble ticket, got an idea what was wrong, told him I'd have it ready in about 3 days, I had 4 on the bench already...\\

Oh can you fix it free since it's for the church?

No, sorry I don't do this free, I need to make a living.

But i use it to do GOD's work...

OK tell God to pay my electric bill...

I charged him $10 more than usual...But then I spent more time on it than usual, if I had charged by the hour it would have been 3 times as much. But to stand there in the most expensive clothes he could find, high dollar car, working for the richest organization in the world and wanted me to work free...that just irritated me to no end.

But then on the other hand, I fixed an older computer for a black preacher in the same town, he and his wife both nice as they could be, paid my regular fee without blinking...He had a garage full of junk he had accumulated over several years, and was showing me some of it he planned to put in a yard sale. He had this 100 year old upright piano, gorgeous. In great condition, needed tuning, I told him I'd love to have one of those.

OK fix my computer and it's yours.

HUH???? Are you serious?

Yep.

Unfortunately I didn't have a place I could put the thing, that just about killed me...free antique piano in excellent condition, and no place to put it...I had to turn it down...

Then I've seen people who think because I fix computers I can fix their TV, DVD player, vaccuum cleaner, washer/dryer...No, sorry, just computers...

I made sure I never told anyone I could fix car engines, small engines, fishing reels, bicycles, some guns, minor guitar amp stuff...along with a lot of other things...Just computers was all I told them...

[Leo_Gnardo]

Not an hour ago:

Q: "Can I stop over later & drop off that amp we were talking about last week?"

A: "Sure, what time about?"

Q: (endless waffling)

A: "Don't worry I'll be here all afternoon & evening."

Q: "OK, about 6 then. And I've got something else too. Maybe it's OK. Sparks & smoke were shooting out of it..." more waffling.

A: "Well WHAT IS IT?"

Q: "We used it all weekend. My bass player's Ampeg SVT-4. We didn't shut it down until the drummer noticed the sparks & smoke. It's still OK though - he was playing through it."

Thank heaven for small favors...

A: "If it's still OK maybe you'll have a free pyro show at your next gig. NOW REALLY, you better drop that one off ."

If the whole dam' stage went up like Great White, do you think he would notice anything's wrong? Let's see if he shows up...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Paleo Pete - I commiserate with you on the church biz. Churches - ARE BUSINESSES. Years ago got nipped several times by local churches. The "evangelical" types with multiple preachers. Around here they have $300 haircuts. $3000 suits. Gold diamond rings on every finger & maybe toes too. New Caddy whenever the ash trays fill up on the old one, at least once a year. Time comes to pay the bill, you've never seen such buck-passing. "Oh Pastor Doug made that order, can't pay it now, he's on a preaching crusade through Zimbabwe, he'll be getting back in 11 months. Nobody else can authorize payment, sorry you'll have to wait." And that $500+ installation, "oh Pastor Allen ordered that. He just got in a fi fi fi ... disagreement with Pastor Mel and Pastor Zachary. He quit, we can't pay that now." Nobody's in charge, nobody takes responsibility. Lovely. - - - - - - About 2 years ago got a call from a long-time-ago customer I'd fixed a couple old Fenders for @ 20 years ago. He starts rattling on about "what do you think about doing biz with churches?" "I avoid it" I said and told him the above. Turns out he had a change of career and now HE'S a preacher but apparently smart enough to avoid calling me with his requests for "free repairs & service."

[Chuck H]

Preachers are the publics conduit to God. And everyone knows that God ignores the poor. The preachers have no option but to be as lavish as possible to facilitate their relationship with the Almighty.

Actually... According to "the book"... God exalts deserving men. Making nations of them and such. So it would seem out of place in a Christian institution for a preacher who was worth listening too to be the slightest bit humble. And the richer you are, the better you are by all accounts. God WANTS them to drive a Cadillac. No one should pay any attention to a poor preacher. God obviously doesn't favor them.

[Tom Phillips]

A couple that I don't think have been mentioned...

"Can I just hang out and watch you work so I can learn how to fix guitar amps?"

When dropping off an amp... "Here is my manager's card. When you are done, I'll pick up the amp and you just send him the bill."

Neither of these guys got what they requested

[The Dude]

I concur with the above. Generally speaking, the people with money are the least likely to want to give it up; also the hardest to deal with.

Years ago part of my job for a former employer was doing service calls. Our dispatcher ALWAYS told people that the service call appointment may vary a bit depending on the time necessary to complete the tech's previous call. You always try to stay on schedule, but sometimes you're done early and sometimes it takes a few more minutes.

Anyway, I walked up to this mansion of a house and knocked on the door. The guy came to the door and said, "You're 10 minutes late. I just bought this godda&* thing and it's broke already. The least you could do is be on time.". I looked at him a second and explained to him that I didn't build or sell him the TV and that I was there to help him. I then told him that I was going to close the door, knock again, and start over- and if his attitude didn't change, I would walk my tools back out to the van and leave. When I knocked again, his attitude (albeit begrudgingly) had changed and I completed the repairs.

Later, after I got back to the shop, I looked at my notes and realized that I had talked to the guy earlier in the month. He had called asking what kind of TV he should buy. The set he bought was EXACTLY the one I had told him not to buy because they had a history of problems.

[Enzo]

I have to agree, churches are the worst. They want credit, don't pay bills, and usually you are several people removed from anyone who actually knows what the equipment needs. The soundman detects a bad channel on the mixer, has joe the volunteer electrician look at it, who then tells the secretary it need to be sent somewhere for repair (to me.) The secretary finds someone going my way to drop it off. I ask the someone what the problem is. They of course have zero idea what is wrong, but always say something like "I think it blows fuses." Because that is all that ever goes wrong with anything, right?

Booking calls for the organ repair guy: church secretary calls 3PM Friday, wants organ fixed so they can have it for sunday service. Sorry, the repair guy came in 9AM got his work orders for the day and will not be back. But we NEED it. Sorry, the man gets all his calls at the start of the day and we won't see him until Monday. Did it just break? If you had called earlier in the week... It broke last sunday, I was MEANING to call you all week, but never got the chance.

[The Dude]

Booking calls for the organ repair guy: church secretary calls 3PM Friday, wants organ fixed so they can have it for sunday service. Sorry, the repair guy came in 9AM got his work orders for the day and will not be back. But we NEED it. Sorry, the man gets all his calls at the start of the day and we won't see him until Monday. Did it just break? If you had called earlier in the week... It broke last sunday, I was MEANING to call you all week, but never got the chance.

Absolutely! I get that with weekend bands all the time. They only play on the weekends, so you know they knew their "widget" was broke at last Saturday's gig. However, they wait 'till the day before the next gig to bring it in and want it immediately.

[g1]

Or New Years bands. They only play once a year. It broke last New Years. Guess when they bring it in to get it fixed .

[Leo_Gnardo]

When dropping off an amp... "Here is my manager's card. When you are done, I'll pick up the amp and you just send him the bill."

Hurts even more when a former employer does that. Current road dog dropped off an SVT-CL "Needed ASAP!". This one needed all 6 6550A output tubes & more, but it was ready for pickup a couple days later. Roadie gives me the phone # of some cockamamie accountant in Los Angeles. Needless to say, bill never was paid. $400+ down the drain. Never again, I don't care that I used to work for this band. Hundred million plus records sold, can't pay their bills. Shame. Smell that smoke? Burnt bridge.

Bottom line on the invoices says Cash On Delivery. Goes double for corporate customers.

Note to self: do not release equipment without payment. Take checks only from proven trusted customers.

Re: Enzo @ churches. I was wondering some 25-30 years ago when I first encountered it, why some (always "Evangelical") churches in our area had such fancy-schmantzy PA systems. (Lighting too.) 24-32-40 channel FOH and 8-mix monitor consoles, and they still ran out of channels... One church set up in an old bowling alley even had a rack of AKG C-414's over the choir. (opening up the volume on any of these produced instant wideband feedback.) One of the pastors answered me, "so we can look just like those churches on TV." This was before the era of the Mega-Church with 5000-20000 capacity. But his answer sure explained it - they had everything except the TV cameras. They knew who was their competition and went with the me-too solution.

Also popular: mix-by-committee. They always wanted me to be there for their services and events, to set up the board and equipment "properly" - so that when I wasn't there some dope who knows better could dial it into miserable distorted feedbacking sludge. Although I did get to do sound for some remarkable talents (Dion - remember his "Christian" music period? Yes, that Dion. Good guy, good talent.) but I quickly gave up on that version of "Idiot's Delight." Oh yes, no pay for all this setting up and instruction giving. And since they don't pay - they don't remember anything. Might as well try to teach cats to set up PA. Short arms & deep pockets. No worry to them if I "donate my time" all the way to the poorhouse. Done wid' dat!

One time I did get a church to agree to pay me $300 for PA setup in a gym for a rock revue. I told them I'd sign the check back to them as a donation and get an income tax deduction. Comes the end of the gig - they have no check. But they still expected me to fling them $300 for the privilege of sweating thru another day of PA work. Cute. Didn't work.

[Mick Bailey]

Not a call but a conversation;

"Do you want a broken vacuum cleaner for spares? (people usually ask me this when they want to offload some junk)
Not really, what's wrong with it?
"I don't know, it's just sitting there gathering dust"

Isn't that what its supposed to do........?

[Chuck H]

badum-bump.

[Paleo Pete]

When I had my computer shop I had a sign I printed up:

Shop time - $30 per hour

With you looking over my shoulder - $60 per hour.

I put it right on the back wall where it was the first thing they saw when they walked in the door...

Banks started making it such a PITA to cash checks I finally put up another sign...

NO CHECKS

That happened when I went to a drive in window one day and tried to cash a customer's $30 check. They made me go inside. (I didn't have a checking account and by this time didn't want one.) So I went inside. They wanted me to take off my cap...then take off my glasses. Ummm...if I take off my glasses (prescription sunglasses) I can't SEE the damn thing...then wanted my thumbprint. I told her she was not a cop and had no authority to demand my fingerprints. She refused to cash the check...and sent me to wait in another line, refusing to deal with me any more at all.

When I started getting angry and raising hell about all this the second lady told me "Oh, it's national security"...I asked her what the hell does this $30 check have to do with national security???? She had no answer for that...

The next day before I opened I had the no checks sign up. I refuse to ever walk in the door of that bank again for any reason too.

[Chuck H]

Yup. Checks have become a problem. You either have an account to deposit them into or your a$$ out. Once when trying to cash a check I was told that that banks policy was three forms of ID and one had to be a bank card!?! I don't see how my bank has anything to do with the money someone agreed to pay me. I also don't see how three forms of ID is reasonable at all. "Oh wait. I have happen to have my passport right here!" All I can say about it is that checks are a voucher system. Someone agrees that X amount of the money the bank holds for him now belongs to someone else. If the voucher system doesn't work then it needs to be fixed.