Customers!

[Enzo]

Did I ever tell this story?

A guy brought something in for repair, and I fixed it for $45. He sends his wife to pick it up and she pays me the $45.

A half hour later, the guy calls and wants to know why the repair was so expensive? I told him it was just an hour labor for $45, which was the bench minimum. "What? It wasn't $145?" Nope, $45, I'm looking right at it. "Damn, she got me again." 20 more minutes, he shows up at my counter with his receipt - the carbon copy I hand out. SHows me the $145, and I showed him the original with the $45 on it. "Damn woman."

Yes, she had added the 1 and asked him for $145 reimbursement. He can sort out his home life, I thought.

A while later I get a call from the wife. "You the guy at the repair place?" Yes. "How dare you tell someone over the phone what their repair bill was?" Well, maam, it was his equipment, he brought it to me, I knew it was him on the phone, why not? "You %#@(*&$%#, you shouldn't be doing that..."

Silly me, I guess I shouldn't be doing that.

[MWJB]

The customer is always right...surely?

Like the guy who calls me...

him: My '72 Twin 100W has blown it's PT, can you replace it?

Me: Sure, but I'll have to see the amp before I order the part, I need to be sure it's the right model.

Him: I've just told you it's a '72 twin 100W (losing his patience), I need it back ASAP, I can't get to you until the weekend, I can't wait another week/10days for the part to come in. Can't you get it now?

Me: A PT is quite expensive, I don't want to be saddled with the wrong part, if i have to order up another PT for, say a 135W UL twin, we'll be back to square 1.

Him: How many different '72 Twin 100W PTs are there?

Me: Just 1... IF it is a '72, that is.

Him: IT IS a '72 100W Twin (menacing tone now).

Me: You're sure, how?

Him: The bloke who sold it to me dated it at '72, it's 100W. Just get the PT! (By now I have obviously become rather tiresome).

...so, against my better judgement, I did. After all, the guy was sure as sure can be, I was obviously simply being unkind with my lack of faith.

The weekend arrives, the guy pulls up and unloads his late 70s 135W UL twin!!! Aaaargh!!! I could see the "135W" from 10ft away!

Luckily (?), he'd blown his OT too so converting to '72 spec was simplest & he was happy with the result & meek as a lamb. It obviously wasn't cheap, needed cap job too, but it was a lot cheaper than putting a monetary value on the frustration, rage & pronounced thumping in my chest & temples felt at the very moment I clocked the amp.

I like the guys who choke when you give them an estimate, "But I had it serviced a couple of years ago, it only cost 50 then?". Invariably you open up a pristine 40yr old amp that has NEVER been touched, but they are convinced that 50 for no work whatsoever, not even a voltage or current/diagnostic check (which may have prevented whatever failure has prompted them to call me in the first place) & a mishmash of power tubes, is good value!?!

It's not my day job so I have cut back & can be as fussy as I like, only taking on the things (& people) that interest me (though it's not easy curbing the natural instinct to "help" everyone that crosses your path)...subsequently I have untold respect for you guys who might get this kind of treatment on a weekly basis.

Customers are rarely aware of what's involved in fixing their gear and rarely anticipate a realistic hourly rate - "yeah, try it with all the tube & speaker combinations you have & tell me what's best". "OK sir, that'll take about a week (assuming that I want to sleep at night), so let's say 1000, plus parts & the original service?"

The happy customer, who gives you that look of sheer amazement & grattitude for what you've done for them, makes up for a lot & can keep you going for a good while. It's the not so good experiences that stick in the mind though.

[Sweetfinger]

great story. the COD at the end was a nice touch. let me ask -- you didn't make this up did you? all of this stuff actually happened to you at least once, right?

It isn't a specific true story, but rather like a distillation of the amusing bits of my life. Usually it isn't an amp, but a guitar. I do occasionally drive across town to rummage through other peoples parts bins. I DID once find one of these tuners for a guy who INSISTED on a correct vintage piece:

http://www.chrisguitars.com/par-gib70tuners3+3.jpg

I paid about 20 bucks, across town, and charged him 25 for the part, which was the 'ballpark' that I had QUOTED him. I call and tell him I'd found the part in town, got it on the guitar, and he's good to go. give him the price and he says "What? That's too much. I saw a whole set of those on ebay for 80 bucks. I coulda just bought those and then sold the rest."

I think to myself, No, you wouldn't, because you're too much of a cheapskate to do that.

Many companies will just happily put one backordered part in a box, and ship it to you out of the blue, C.O.D.(there's a fee for that, you know) EVEN THOUGH you have repeatedly told them to NOT DO THIS! The package will invariably arrive on your day off, or when you are at lunch, so refusing it isn't an option. If you tell your monkeys, er.. valued employees, not to accept ANY C.O.D. deliveries if you're gone, you'll end up driving across town to FED-EX's main distribution center for the package that you REALLY needed, which will be an hour and a half of your life gone because your delivery driver has no reservations about marking your package as having had three delivery attempts after just one attempt. It only took ONE trip to the Fed-Ex center to train me.

[Enzo]

I recently had a customer MAIL me a heavy Behringer "Acoustic" combo amp. Wow, $35 worth of postage. Of course the special package mail man comes by at 8AM when no one is remotely near this place, so I had to fetch that at some postal distribution facility I never knew existed.

UPS is not far from me at all, but Fed EX is on the far side of the world. And there are two Fed Exs I find. The commercial and the consumer, or something. SO depending on what sort of entity sent the thing to me, it makes a difference which depot holds it, and they are 15 miles apart. Learned that one the hard way once.

Customer UPSed a little HArtke Bass kickback COmbo recently. Opened the box - loose peanuts and no bag around the carpet covered amp. But the box was only half full of the peanuts. It seems there is a large round port on the rear of the amp, and yes, half a box full of peanuts was now inside the speaker chamber.

I get hear shipped to me from all over - some of my OEMs have few service centers and I wind up with gear from around the great lakes - and I always tell them to tape a piece of paper right to the unit inside the box, DON'T rely on anything external, and I specifically ask for return address, phone number and what the complaint is. I tell them I won't remember the phone conversation we have.

I get a note that says, "Amp doesn't work right like we discussed." Thanks.

[Jag]

Okay, now I'm in a snit thinking about bad customers!!!

Like MWJB and others here, I don't do amp work for a living. I get to own an IT consulting company.

In the last day, I've had two clients take me to task because their ISP/third party hosting failed. In both cases the client hadn't even let me know they were changing, let alone ask me what might break, just did it to save $10.00 a month on hosting fees. Still, it's my fault, "if you're not willing to take the responsibility then why are you in business"?

I actually saw one client, who has the same mechanic as me, tear a strip off the poor guy because his tires went bald.

[52 Bill]

Sweetfinger: Great story and very nicely written too. I've lived most of that scenario myself.

Well here's my tale:
Twenty five years or so ago. I was doing a lot of work for guys that were really into Hendrix effects. These guys would regularly bring in Fuzz Faces, Univibes and Octavias for mods and repairs. Well one day one of these guys who used to be a local, calls me from California, to order a replacement Univibe. He wants an exact duplicate of his original board, because he trashed his trying to do some mod. We agree on a price and he tells me that he'll send a deposit or the full amount whatever I want.

In the mean time he tells me what he did to trash his original board. During our conversation, I inform him that what he did won't work because he's trying to run the unit from a 9 volt dc wall wart. The oscillator needs at least 14 volts dc to run reliably.

I've known the guy for a few years now, so I go ahead and build him a new Univibe board. An exact duplicate, but with a G-10 epoxy board instead of the original phenolic. Calibrate it, test it, etc. All I need now is his check and his address...

Well, I'm sure that you can see what's coming. I never hear from the guy again. I assume that the conversation about the power supply fixed his old one and he never thought to call and cancel his order.

Well ya live and ya learn.

[Enzo]

Yep, no good deed goes unpunished.

[drewl]

These and other stories would make up quite a horror book!

You have to remember, we're dealing with musicians, probably the most dysfunctional people on the planet!

My wife just laughs when she hears me on the phone with some of these crazies.
Half the people you can't get a hold of. The other half want the amp done yesterday, or can it be delivered? they have a gig fri and can't wait to pick it up on sat.
AAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

[Alex R]

- a good few years ago I used to have an ad in one of the guitar magazines. I got a lot of strange jobs through that, some even approaching the wearying kinds of strangeness evidenced in this thread. Then I put up a website - and the customers got more sensible. I'm wondering whether the ability to get through the Googling process filters out some of the craziness. An unusual example of the web making things more sane.

...and tenuously apropos of that, here is my favourite example of the opposite tendency (my apologies if you've seen it before)

http://www.highendcable.co.uk/Nordos...LA%20Power.htm

[Enzo]

I was just talking to a customer today who wanted to know if I could do mods cheaper than some other company, and he provided the specs. The specs claimed to reduce "glare and grain" in the sound and of course improve soundstaging. Plus the new caps in the switching power supply would provide better "pace" to the music than the stock. And a bunch more audiophile nonsense. I referred him to look up "Tice CLock" on google for a trip down memory lane of nonsense.

Google up Tice CLock.

[52 Bill]

Oh Man! Why did you have to give out a trade secret like that.

I've had my Tice Clock plugged into my bench for years now. When customers hear the sweet sounds coming out of their equipment, they can't believe their ears.

I guess it's either time to retire or look into this power supply pacing thing. Can you send me some links on that?

[Enzo]

I could, but then I'd have to kill you.

[zero cool]

I have been going through much of this myself lately. Normally i just do subcontract type work for other repair shops, music stores etc. occasionally I work on something for someone I know or a friend of a friend kind of deal. I have learned to "qualify" the customer first! One someone calls or brings something in for repair. I always make sure to tell them my hourly rate up front and that the minimum charge is $xxx and it will take me at least this long to even look at it etc etc. this has helped a small degree. Now I get the customers that say ohh. well if it will be THAT much referring to my one hour minimum... and i preempt a lot of that post stress. and if i crack the cover on something and see charred parts everywhere I will call the customer and and talk to them a bit. feel them out for what kind of money they want to put into something. I will then try and work within that budget and sometimes will go a bit over on hours but keep the price the same if it helps out...and within reason of course.

And the funniest one of them all. guys brings amp in. waits 2-3 days cant wait any longer, picks the amp up, takes it across town to another shop. that shop calls ME up and subcontracts the work to me and the amp ends up BACK in my ship now a week later! LOL! love that one!

I am glad to see I am not the only one dealing with this!

[jrfrond]

Doug, I feel your pain! I really do.

Whatever happens around the country at service centers, ramp it way up for NYC. Customers have tried (and succeeded) to stick us on MANY occasions, so we now have strict rules. Now, EVERY incoming unit must have a 1hr. labor deposit ($125). If it is high-ticket, or a specialty repair like a vintage synth, it's $250. NO EXCEPTIONS! I implemented this change because too many customers were leaving us with dead units that we estimated for them. Estimates were $125, payable when the work was finished, or the unrepaired unit was picked up. BIG mistake! Now, everyone pays up-front, period. Don't want to pay? We don't want your business. It's as simple as that. The type of customer who refuses to pay or simply "doesn't have the money" is the type of customer we DO NOT need. The problem with this is that you DO wind up chasing a few customers away, and we have such a mercenary attitude in this business. We want to please EVERY customer and not lose a single-dollar. Sometimes, you just have to say "no". We also DO NOT bargain on repairs. We do have a different price structure for commercial customers, but our price is our price. This isn't a car dealership where you can haggle, and you wouldn't try to bargain with your doctor, so don't bargain with us. Hardball??? You bet!

We've also drawn hard lines on warranties. NOTHING is under warranty until we inspect it first. Everyone who walks through the door thinks they are getting a free ride, even if it was THEM who beat the piss out of their gear. Guess what? THEY all get charged the deposit too! If the unit IS under warranty, they are refunded their deposit.

BTW- ALL of our poilicies are on our website, posted on the wall behind the service front counter, and also on the back of our pre-printed invoices. There is nothing left to chance, and no excuse for anyone who walks through our door to say "I didn't know". About the only safeguards I HAVEN'T enacted yet is a signed service agreement, like car dealership service centers do, as well as front counter triage.

BTW- we tag each unit internally when work is performed. The ID tags are pre-printed, and the tech fills in the workorder number, date and their initials.

I also cannot tell you how important a service database is. You'd be surprised what you can find with serial number and customer searches. You can either purchase a low-cost service program, or build your own in a database program such as Filemaker (which is what we do). If you can work with database programs and can compile your own, you can customize it and make changes accordingly as needed.

Customers!!!

[Enzo]

You can even make a service file using Quick Books. I no longer use it, but Quick Books is a totally intuitive bookeeping program, and not expensive. You can enter invoices, and billings, with breakdowns on parts, labor, whatever. And the program will sort, so you can bring up all repairs for one customer, or can sort by other parameters. Plus it will make lovely color pie charts for all manner of things you don;t care about. "Hey look here, it says Downtown DJs is 0.87% of our total business, and they do most of it in the autumn."


I have another sign in my shop:
Repairs unclaimed after 90 days will be sold or discarded.

If I know a guy is on the road, I don;t mind accommodating him. But someone brings me a blown up amp, I fix it, then it sits there for a year before he decides to come get it. I don;t need that. I also don;t need the guy who says he will come get it next monday, but doesn;t, then calls every couple weeks to tell me he'll be in, but never shows.


And "Can I bring in $20 a week for the next few weeks?" No. get yourself a mayonaise jar, and save up the whole amount at home.